Today I want to talk about something that I have been thinking a lot about– relationships.
This isn’t just about boyfriends or spouses, I’m talking any relationship. Friends, family (blood or not), work, the list goes on!
Recently, I have been faced with a lot of challenges in my life that have led me away from (& closer to) people, both physically and emotionally. If anything, it has really shown me what relationships are all about.
See, it’s not as simple as it used to be like it was in school or back at home. As you grow up, things start to change. The people you surround yourself with in adult life can’t always be a 15 minute drive away, and aren’t always constantly texting you to catch up…and that’s OK.
People get new jobs or go to pursue further eduction, or get married (again, the list goes on). What I am saying is, life happens, sometimes you don’t have control over it, but you DO have control over who you surround yourself with.
I heard something a few months ago while I was watching a talk show. One host brought up an interesting way to check in with your relationships.
- Open up your recent text messages (or phone calls if that’s more your thing).
- Look at the last 5 people you have communicated with.
- Ask yourself, “Am I getting back what I am putting in to this relationship?”… be honest.
I found this fascinating. Immediately, I opened up my iMessage and went through each conversation… and, wow, did it really put things in perspective.
When you are honest with yourself about the give and take of relationships it brings a whole new meaning to what relationships you give value to.
Maybe you’ve been reaching out to a friend about a coffee date for weeks now, but somehow there is always an excuse…maybe, you’re the one making the excuses. Or, maybe that guy you have been talking to for a while hasn’t made an effort to REALLY get to know you or open up about himself, while you are ready to jump into a relationship and tell him your life story.
Of course, these are only examples…the point is, it is important to surround yourself with people who value and respect you just as much as you value and respect them. It’s hard to form meaningful relationships without reciprocity.
So, next time you get the chance, try out this little exercise. It may clear some things up for you about your own relationships.
As always, with love and coffee,